Live to learn. Learn to live.

"No matter how much I love that sleepy little town, my dreams weren't waiting for me there." My friend put this as her status today. I can relate to it. I was so in love with the people in my life living in Golden, CO, but there is so much more waiting for me outside of Golden. In Glendale, AZ at DO school at Midwestern University, as it turns out. Realizing my dreams is thrilling and at the same time terrifying. The amount of time and energy spent on chasing my dream of becoming a doctor is quite substantial relative to how long I've been alive. That means I feel like I'm on cloud nine in la la land, and at the same time like the next step I take could send me crashing onto the pavement if I fail.  Getting to medical school was fun and exciting. My mom and I made a bit of an adventurous road trip out of it.  Orientation was incredibly boring, but at same time full of bright eyed 20-somethings (for the most part) just like myself who&#

Dear Future Husband, This is a letter of who I need you to be, and also who I promise to be. First and foremost: I need you to be my biggest fan. I have never known this before. I need you to believe in me from the depths of your soul. Believe in me more than I believe in myself. Want for me what I want for myself. Be genuinely happy, maybe even ecstatic, for me when I reach my goals – even if that means loving me selflessly. I will do the same for you. Second: Take care of yourself. You don’t need to be a supermodel. I certainly am not. All I ask is that you take care of yourself – physically and emotionally. I know challenges present themselves and sometimes we get taken for an unwanted ride, but come back to me. And more importantly, come back to yourself. I need to be attracted to you physically and emotionally in order to want to be close to you. I want to be close to you my whole life. I promise to take care of myself for you. Third: Have an open heart. Laug

Weird title? I know. If you CrossFit with me, you know exactly what I am talking about. I don't like working out with my shirt on, but for different reasons than you may think. I've shared more than once that I had an eating disorder for a decent portion of my life. Gradually I am beginning to realize that eating disorders may be more of an epidemic than obesity. Don't quote me on that - I only speak from experience. I have more friends, male and female, than I would like to admit that can relate to my issues or greater. It lights a fire in my soul and infuriates me. I hate hate hate that people are living with hating themselves every day and feel that it is just something they have to live with. It's not. And you shouldn't. I remember the day I graduated High School I was ecstatic because I suddenly felt this weight lifted off my shoulders. I no longer had to uphold the image that I had presented to my small group of peers for four years. While many of my frien

How do you say goodbye? Seriously. I'm leaving for medical school in 6 weeks, so this thought has been frequenting my mind.  In general, I comfort myself with the fact that I will be coming back to Colorado on my breaks. I will see many of the people I say goodbye to again. This kind of goodbye is not fun, but it doesn't scare me as much as the real kind of goodbye. The goodbye where you say it with meaning: you are, for better or worse, parting ways with this person, being, or thing, and you will never see them again - and you are accepting that. Really saying goodbye and meaning it is often hard to produce. At least, for me it is. I tend to hang on to things an inappropriate amount of time. Not just goodbyes, but fights, feelings, songs - a lot of different things, and I'm not sure why. I've never felt like I am scared of change, but maybe I am? It seems like a natural human tendency. Once you let go of one thing that you finally understand and know, you must mov

This quote was introduced to me by my high school dance coach, and I think it is SO true. I've been thinking about goals a lot lately, and what drives them. My greatest goal has always been to become a doctor. I have wanted to go to medical school essentially all of my life - since my grandma Judy planted the seed in my young mind that this would be a good career choice for me.  I have to admit, I went in and out of wanting it as my confidence in myself went in and out. But once I was convinced that I was smart enough, there was pretty much nothing that could stop me. When I ask myself why I truly want it, my grandma is the first thing that comes to mind. I don't often tell people this, because it invites the advice that you should never do something for someone else. Do it for you - it should be your dream. But it is my dream. It's my dream that my grandma, who meant SO much to me, and I shared - and I want to make her proud. I like to think that my grandma knew me

I'm going to try to piece together the events of the past week because naturally, I think they're interconnected leading me to my newest realization. Stay with me if you can... Monday: I'm at my CrossFit box doing the morning daycare, playing with Reagan, and this beautiful human pops his beautiful head through the door and waves. I don't think much of it. There are lots of beautiful humans at CrossFit gyms. I am getting ready to lift and the beautiful human is chatting it up with another gym member so I eavesdrop. He's on a road trip coming from Seattle. This gets me excited so I pipe in, "What part of Seattle? I was born there and have family there!" We exchange a few sentences and then we all go to our respective lifting platforms. About halfway through lifting I decide it's necessary I give this stranger my phone number. He's passing through, leaving before I am (for medical school in the fall), and the worst that can happen is either a